Love me or Hate me
by Kanatheotaku
Summary: OCXJapan. First time writing a fanfic! Singapore has been hurt by Japan once but will she allow herself to again for this feeling called 'love? Even Japan doesn't want to hurt her anymore yet he has this feeling called 'love'. Please don't hate
1. Her fear

"Okay guys! We have a new nation joining us today!" the American burst out randomly. "Hey come in! She's such an adorable girl!" he continued. As the door slowly open, a young girl no less than the age twenty stepped in. She wore a dress just below the knees with golden seams at the bottom. The dress seemed as if it was an adaptation of a cheongsam. However, it had the shape of a Western dress. She wore clips in her hair which were tied in two long ponytails. She wore golden ballerina flats and had bangles on her wrists. She was a petite girl. She might have been less than 1.6 meters in height. Her face was round and her eyes were like to big orbs a mix of blue and black. "Nice to meet you all. I'm Singapore. I hope we'll be friends," she said her voice as soft as silk. She blushed slightly as America laughed. "Thanks Singapore! She'll be here all the time during world conferences. You can seat next to Hungary," the blonde man said. She gingerly walked towards it and sat down without a sound.

Soon the meeting ended, without anything accomplished. Singapore sighed heavily. It was her first time here and the big nations were scaring her a bit. "Hey Singapore! My name's Italy! I love pasta!" a brown-haired man said, startling her. "Oh, hello," she replied. "What do you like?" he asked. "I uh… I like singing?" she replied making it sound like a question. She was really nervous. "Really? I like the singing too!" he spoke with a strong Italian accent. "Ve~ Please sing something! I would really like to hear it!" he squealed. "Italy! Vhat are you doing? Are you harassing the new nation?" a strong and mellow voice broke though the chatter. Italy's expression suddenly changed to regret. He tried running but was caught by the strict country, Germany. "I'm sorry if he had hurt or offended you. I'll speak to him firmly," he spoke making the young nation shiver in her seat. "Um… It's alright he didn't do anything wrong. Please don't punish him," Singapore pleaded. "It's a true! I didn't hurt her!" Italy cried. "Okay fine, but I need you to come with me Italy. It seems that Japan has gone missing," Germany said looking around the room. The young nation froze. Memories flooded her mind and she started shaking. Bloody images replayed in her head. "Ve~ Singapore are you alright?" "I'm okay. I need to leave now. Good-bye Italy, Germany," she then quickly stood up and hastened her way out of the room, leaving an Italian and a German in confusion.

Singapore P.O.V:

"This can't be happening," I muttered to myself. I steadily walked back home. I shook my head. "I must not act like this. I must move on and yet…" I clutched my right arm. "I must be strong! For my people!" I said full of determination. However, as the images from _that_ day flooded my mind again, I felt the determination slowly washing away.

As I reached the door of my house I stepped in and quickly slammed the door shut. I couldn't take it anymore. Tears started streaming down my face and it won't stop. My heart hurt so much and guilt crept up my spine. I started trembling in fear. It won't stop. Why couldn't it stop? I started wailing my heart out. Every time I hear his name I just can't stop thinking of _that_ day. I hear screams, shouts, crying. I want to move on. I want to forget. But I just can't do it. I'm still afraid. I'm still so afraid…

Singapore P.O.V:

I awoke to the sound of my doorbell ringing. I sluggishly got out of bed and made my way to the door. Walking down the stairs I heard the sound of metal hitting something. I wonder who it is… "You idiot! I told you to stay still and wait! We don't need to break in!" I heard a very familiar voice say. I opened the door to see Hungary and Prussia waiting. "But she took so long! You didn't have to hit me that hard with the freaking pan of yours!" the albino cried in defence, rubbing his head. "What are you doing here?" I asked, yawning loudly. "We wanted to visit you. Italy told me that something was wrong, so I just wanted check on you, right Prussia?" Hungary nudged at the albino. "Huh? Oh yeah," he replied looking at my garden of orchids. I loved my orchids. I always tended to them whether day or night, rain or shine. They were like gold to me. The different shades of purple blending together made the front of my house lovely. "They look pretty," he complimented.

I invited the two in. Although I was not close to them, I felt pretty touched that they came to check up on me. Well, Italy was kind of feeling worried for me. I went into the kitchen and made tea for them, well I call it teh-o. The sweet aroma of the tea wafted through my house. Hungary had cookies with her and they had tea with cookies while I took a quick bath and changed into something more appealing. I decided to let me hair down today. I then heard the sound of metal hitting something again. "Oh dear, she must be hitting him with her pan. I wonder what he did now," I muttered rushing down the stairs. I stood there rooted to the ground. "No he couldn't have found it," I whispered. " I told you not to touch anything! See what you've done! It's all over the floor," Hungary said picking it off the floor. "Nevermind Hungary! I'll pick those up,"I cried hastily picking the pictures up and putting them in the box. "They must never see this," I thought. After putting them in my room, I returned to the kitchen. "I'm sorry, Singapore. That must have been really personal. I guess my awesome hands can't keep to themselves," Prussia said chuckling. I smiled. An apology is always what I need just to resolve a matter. "I have a question. If it is isn't so personal to you, why were there blood all over the pictures?" he asked me.

I froze. I could not say anything. I tried to speak but all that came out was silence. Blood. Pictures. I broke down. Shivering with fear, I wailed. Hungary rushed to my side comforting me after whacking Prussia in the head with her pan. She pulled me close to her. Those memories I wish to forget. Those memories that have burned into my mind. Those memories scare me to no end.

"So, will you tell us why? You can't keep it to yourself all the time you know," Hungary said. "They'll eat you alive."She managed to calm me down after so much crying and wailing. "It all happened on 15 February 1942. That day, was the worst day of my life. That day was the day the British surrendered me over to the Japanese. That day was the start of my pain, my suffering. I remembered that day I screamed for help but no one heard me. I pleaded, begged for the British not to surrender but they gave up," I felt the pain of that day punch through my chest. "I felt alone. I felt betrayed but this was a futile battle. The outcome was clear anyway. The Japanese had won. The British cuffed me and brought me over to Japan's base. While I was walking the dark hallway, I heard screams for help, pleads and…" I bit my lip hard. Hungary placed her hand on my shoulder as she smiled sweetly. "But what I can never forget was what I saw. Passing by a big field, all lined up in a row were my men, blindfolded. Then, a Japanese soldier held up a gun. I remembered trying to wriggle my way out, trying to save them screaming 'No! Don't hurt them!'. But it was too late; all lined up was a row of dead men. Blood everywhere, tainting every part of the field red. When I was handed over I remembered Japan smiling at me. I swore that it was the coldest grin I have seen. Just remembering it is giving me shivers," I held myself close.

"With each day I was made to be his maid. I had to cook, clean and do maid duties. However, I was tortured every day. Slapped, beaten and worst of all caned. I had many wounds, some were minor while others were life-threatening. I was locked up in a cell. Day and night, I was all alone. I hated every single day of my life. I prayed to god, pleading 'why am I still alive? Why are you keeping me alive? Just kill me, kill me now, please'. I held onto those pictures. They were my source of comfort. Each night after being tortured, I would hold it close to my heart. I clutched it so tightly. I felt so guilty, I failed protecting my country. I felt like a big loser. I feared the Japanese so badly. However, there was a wound that led me to fear him forever," I started crying again. "you know, if you don't want to tell us it's alright," Hungary said clutching me. "No, like you said it's eating me. I need to tell someone," I replied wiping my eyes. "Japan thought it would be fun if I saw my comrade get tortured. My hands were, weirdly, not cuffed as I was led into the room. There I saw my best friend. I stood there, watching as he was being whipped. 'Please stop!' I screamed continuously. My best friend looked up and managed to give me a heartwarming smile before getting whipped harder. I couldn't stand there crying, I had to do something. So I ran to stop them. Then, it was so fast, Japan pushed me away and I hit an open nail in the room. It ripped part of my shirt and cut my skin from my right arm. The rip exposed my right breast," I saw Prussia blush hard and looked out the window. He then went towards the toilet.

"Japan then called his men to bring me back as I had enough. But before I left, he grabbed my right arm hard. I winced in pain as I pulled my shirt further up. I remembered him saying, 'You're lucky I'm in a good mood. If not I would've raped you. You ,holding your shirt seductively like that, turn me on'. At that moment I just ran back to the cell and shut the door. I can't remember how long I cried in that cell since then. Every time Japan touch me, I would scream and run to the other side of the room. It was hell since then. He, giving me suggestive looks. And me, running and crying. Eventually after 3 years, it all ended and I finally tasted freedom. I was so happy yet, I saw Japan crying, so badly. Before he left, he said, 'gomenosai. Ai-.' However, it was cut short by the bullet that flew in between me and Japan. England had finally come. Up till today, I have no idea what it means," I said. Finally I felt like a burden has finally got off my shoulders. I sighed with relief, smiling. "Thanks for listening to me Hungary," I said.

"Okay so now, you still have a deep fear of Japan, right?" she asked. I nodded. "Keh, you should face your fears! Let the awesome me help you!" I heard the albino say after coming out of the toilet. "Yeah! You must face your fears! I'm sure Japan has changed," Hungary said jumping with determination. "Tomorrow! Before the world conference you'll make contact with Japan and at least be friends!" both nation and non-nation cried. They actually seem cute together. I giggled. "okay then, tomorrow," I replied giving them a thumbs up.

Normal P.O.V:

Singapore gingerly walked into the room. She searched the room and saw him. There he was, with earphones in his ears and a manga in his hand. He seems so into the manga. She looked behind her and saw Hungary. "Go," she whispered pushing her towards his direction. She was still afraid. Although he changed, he was still the same man. Once she reached him she poked him in the arm and he looked up. He looked so confused and took out his earpiece. "Uh… I made these. Have some," she said softly.

Japan P.O.V:

"Uh… I made these. Have some," she said softly. Her voice seems so innocent and pure. Damn! Why did I ever hurt her? "Uh sure," I grabbed a cookie and took a bite and I look away. I wanted to have minimal contact with her. I hurt once, and I don't want to hurt her again. "Is it nice? I made them with Hungary," she said so sweetly. I gritted my teeth. Why oh why did I hurt her? Damn it! Why is she so nice to me?" Oh really? Thank you," I said. I put my attention to my manga book. Maybe if I ignore her, she might just walk away. "Here take some more! I made them for you!" she said cheerfully. I turned my head and our eyes met. Her big orbs of blue seem so sweet, pure innocent and… fear? Was she still afraid of me? Was she forced to this? I swore I'll kill whomever forced her. "thank you," I said taking the bag and continued eating the cookies. She giggled. Then, she started laughing. Her laugh so innocent. "Will you follow me today?" she asked suddenly. "Follow where?" I asked. "Follow me to the local park. I want to go there but I'll be lonely,' she replied. Her blue hair covered her round face. " Why won't you ask someone else?" I asked. Shoots! That was rude." I meant won't Hungary or Liechtenstein follow you?" "They're busy today. Will you?" Her eyes pleaded for me to come." I guess so," I said rubbing the back of my head. She then jumped with glee, her face glowing with joy. Then, I saw the scar I left on her. My mind then went back to that period of time.

When she came into the door, I was so shocked. She was such a young nation despite its progress. What caught my attention was the mix blue and black eyes of hers. They were so big, like orbs. "Let me go!" she cried. Her voice was so pure and innocent. I automatically was attracted to her. However, she was a prisoner and I must have no feelings for her. "Don't give mercy to her! She is still our prisoner," the words from my boss replayed instantly. I then touched her cheek lightly. "You're my servant now. You must obey me," I said trying to seem grim. Her eyes instantly showed fear. She hung her head.

Then, there was that day. That day, I regretted everything I did and said. I caused that horrible scar on her arm and on her heart. Since then, even just a slight touch on her hand scares her to no end. Just calling her name, makes her cower in fear. I felt like a monster watching her being tortured. I did not know what to say or do then. I felt like killing myself. How could I this to her, a sweet girl like her. On the day she was finally free, I cried not because I lost, it was because that I had finally see her free. Before she left all I could say was 'gomenosai and ai' because by then England came and cut it short. I could never forget the smile she had on that day. A smile of true freedom and peace.


	2. The 'special' outing

Hey guys! I hope you like my story! This is chapter 2 of my story. Enjoy!

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Normal P.O.V:

The two nations walked into the park, each looking the other way. The silence between became so awkward, Japan decided to break it. "Hey, Singapore, why do you want to come to the park anyway?" he asked. "Oh, I needed inspiration for a new song. And the park is really beautiful," she replied. As they continued walking, Singapore looked behind to see Hungary and Prussia trailing behind them. Probably to make sure that Singapore would not ditch at the last minute.

Hungary P.O.V:

"Hey, Prussia, don't you think they're too formal with each other? They're barely saying anything," I whispered to my comrade. "Keh, I'm so awesome to have noticed that already! I know what I'll do! I'll put my awesome love experience to good use now, kesesesese~" the albino idiot said sneakily. I just stared at him in disgust as he walked away towards the two young nations in front of us. Luckily I had brought my trusty pan just in case. " Hey! Remember we're trying to make them friends not hook them up!" I screamed. But obviously he could not have heard me by then.

Japan P.O.V:

We continued walking until we reached a bridge. The bridge goes over a long stream that had many exotic, colourful fishes. But the koi fishes back in Japan are much prettier. As we walk over she stood in the middle as she peered over the wooden railing. She closed her eyes as she allowed the wind to blow her long blackish brown hair. All of a sudden, a gigantic splash exploded causing her to fall backwards. My reflexes caused my body to lean forward to catch her. She fell onto my arms; I felt her soft hair brush against it. She had shut her eyes shut out of shock and when she opened them, the big orbs shone brightly like stones. "Thank you," she said nervously, blushing very hard. I nodded and heard a very familiar 'kesesese' somewhere behind me.

Soon we walked, onwards towards a playground. There, she played with the young children. Her laugh filled the atmosphere with joy. Her innocent smile attracted the young children to her. She seemed so harmless and friendly and they must have liked her. She looked so happy. Bang! Sounds of metal hitting tore the joyous atmosphere. I looked behind and swore I would have seen white hair somewhere behind the tree. As I observed carefully, someone grabbed my hand and pulled me down.

Singapore P.O.V:

Hungary motioned me to pull him down. I still could not believe that they were still following me. I did as told and our eyes met. His black eyes seemed to have no end. His eyes, they were different. I have never seen so much black before. I pulled him towards the kids and made him play with them. He chuckled, knowing my intention, and carried a young girl. He threw her in the air and caught her. He continued to do that and the girl would laugh in agreement. He would throw her higher and higher. Soon, more kids saw what he was doing and tugged at his admiral suit. He smiled. He smiled so peacefully. It was a genuine smile, one that was not forced. I never saw him smile. Never. He had a sweet smile, a smile that was very calm and reassuring. He turned to smile at me. My heart skipped a beat. It started racing. Why? Why was I feeling this? He was actually quite attractive. Although I feared him, I have heard many stories about him.

Stories of how composed he was compared to Italy or Germany. How skillful he was at the sword and how wise he was. He had complexion that was fair like snow, a smile that could steal any heart and voice so low yet sweet. What am I saying? I started rubbing my head. Am I falling for him? "Are you okay?" he asked full of concern. I blushed. He held my forehead. He was so worried for me. I tried not to look into those enchanting eyes. As he pulled my fringe back, he chuckled and smirked. Then, a kid pulled onto the seam of my dress while a boy pulled on Japan's pants. We laughed. I did not feel any fear at all. He did change after all. As we threw them up, I heard a snap and flash. I quickly looked back and saw a brunette hair. What are they doing?

Normal P.O.V:

Soon dusk came and the sun was setting. The park then became dark and most people had left leaving the two walking out if the park. "So, did you get any inspiration?" the Japanese admiral spoke with a low voice."Yeah. I finally can write," the young nation said pushing her hair back. "Will you sing it to me? If you want to that is. I would like to hear it," Japan requested shyly. Singapore blushed hard and nodded vigorously. He chuckled at her weird actions. "Okay then! Thank you Japan for following me today! I'll be going now," Singapore said. "Oh yeah, Japan, you looked cute when you carried her," She said turning towards the direction of her pathway. Japan looked at her shocked. He rubbed his head and chuckled.

Japan P.O.V:

Although she was happy, I had a bad feeling. I felt uneasy about her walking by herself at night. A girl like her should not walk by herself. But she is Singapore, after all. She must have grew stronger after the Japanese Occupation. However, I could not ignore the fact the she was all alone. Hence, I started following her, at a safe distance from her.

Singapore P.O.V:

I looked up at the night sky. The moon shone proudly in the night sky. I decided to take a shortcut in the back of the alleyway. I knew I should not do this but, just this night. I wanted to tell my elder sister Malaysia everything about today! My conscience pricked on my decision. I brushed it away and continued walking. I walked on without anymore thoughts about my choice. Then, I heard footsteps, following behind me. I tensed up. What if someone was following me? I quickened my pace and to my horror, the footsteps became quicker. I saw light and heard some chatter ahead of me. There must be a crowd of people ahead. I continued walking, ignoring the footsteps. Suddenly, someone grabbed my shoulder and pulled me down.

I fell backwards onto the ground. I tried getting up but something held me down. Then, I saw the face of my oppressor. He had a cold grin and there was an evil glint in his eyes. The glint was like the one Japan had on that day. I tried fighting back. I pushed and turned and it became a tussle. "Do you know who I am? I'm freaking Singapore you know! Get off!" I cried. I am not going to get hurt again. I pushed him off with all my might. However, he was too strong. He pushed against my torso, pinning my limbs down onto the ground. "You're mine, now," he whispered grimly in my ear. I felt a tear trickle down my cheek. This cannot be the end not now! I was able to bite his cheek and neck, which made him pull back a little. I used it as my advantage and pushed him off. He clutched his left cheek. I gloated at him as I ran towards the noise. Just as I was about to step foot into the exit, I was hit on the head. I yelped in pain. "Heh, you think you can outrun me?" he squeezed my upper torso tightly from the back, digging into my shirt. I knew it, he wanted _that_. I wanted to fight back but everything started to become blurry. Damn it! It can't end now. Before I fell onto the ground I could only scream 'Japan'. Then, all became pitch black and I could hear _his_ voice.

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Okay I used a little molest in this. But come on... Rape/molest is fun isn't it? I hope you continue to read the story. Thank you and bye-bye!


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